you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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