We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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