Plan B is the new Plan A
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize