i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
