I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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