just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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