I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
