Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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