I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize