Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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