I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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