I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just want to make out with him forever
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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