I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
there is glitter all over my balls
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
