her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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