Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize