And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I forget how to act sober
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
