Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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