i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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