Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
