my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Holy shit dude........stairs
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
