By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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