HIV tests are more positive than that guy
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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