i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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