just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
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Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
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We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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