I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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