I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
