We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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