Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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