And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.