Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
She announced her abortion via fbk
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.