When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
