Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
