Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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