If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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