I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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