I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
