Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
