So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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