i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
