Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I feel like abortions should bother me more
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
