I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
