i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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