Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Randomize
