it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So much Jack, so little girl.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize