I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
