i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
