??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
