omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
