That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
