He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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