yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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