Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
