and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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