I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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