time to smoke my breakfast
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
