Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
